Dare #12 - Love lets the other win

you can ask anyone who knows me well. i enjoy debating. but i only enjoy debating topics i know a lot about. :) i really enjoy fighting for topics that mean a lot to me. this can definitely be a positive and a negative personality trait. sometimes, i get so focused on what i want, that i can practically twist my argument, even if i feel like i am losing, and win somehow. i give thanks to my dad, the lawyer, for this ability. :) please know, i am not bragging about this. it is actually something that i need to work on and get better at controlling. however, i am not saying that it isn't good to fight passionately for what you believe in. i am thankful to God for that aspect of my this personality trait. but, we must be careful, even with the good things in our lives, which is why when i saw the title of this dare, i thought "uh oh. . . " some of these dares are easy and fun, but this one will be nice and stretching for me. to begin, i want to re-post some Scripture from one of my earlier posts:

Phil. 2:1-11

"So, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, and participation in the Spirit, and affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing (yes, it says NOTHING) from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above EVERY name, so that at the name of JESUS every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father!!!" 


i love, LOVE this passage, and here is why: the beginning of the passage talks about how we are to treat others. i underlined verse 4 because that is the focus of today's dare. BUT, the passage doesn't end there. it goes on to state, HOW and WHY we are to accomplish this selflessness. Paul says, "Look at what Christ has done for us!" i also love when verse 5 says, "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus." i am no theologian, but i believe Paul is saying if you have Christ in your heart, this ability to put others first is something you already own. because of Christ, we have the ability to put our spouses needs and wants before our own. whenever we start to do it on our own though, we will fail. 


some issues are just not worth it. i remember my parents telling me that was something they had to learn and wanted me to understand. i haven't forgotten that. i may have the spirit of a fighter/debater in me, but that doesn't give me the right to always win, or to continue arguments that are unimportant. 


"All it takes for your present arguments to continue is for both of you to stay entrenched and unbending. But the very moment one of you says, 'I'm willing to go your way on this one.' the argument will be over. And though the follow-through may cost you some pride and discomfort, you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage" (57, Love Dare).


James 3:17 says, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield."


May GOD help us to become women who are peaceable, gentle, and willing to yield. i feel that those traits are so far from my personality at times, but i know i do have them in me because of the precious sacrifice of Christ.


Dare: "Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first."