Dare #16 - Love intercedes

i wish i could just copy and paste the whole chapter from "The Love Dare" on this topic. SO convicting. i am always straight-forward and honest on this blog, and i have to admit, i am not the greatest at interceding before the throne of God for others. i am growing in this area, by God's grace, but could do infinitely better than i have been doing. i'm seeing so many changes in my husband and in our marriage, and so life starts to just drone on by. everything seems stable; we fight occasionally, but make up quickly. it makes it easy to forget to pray for him. but, when something big happens, when there is a crisis in our marriage, i then pray incessantly. however, i should be praying without ceasing every day, despite how good or bad my marriage is at the moment.

i truly think that Christians who neglect to pray without ceasing (and i am assuming there are many) are really and truly missing out on an incredibly satisfying life focused on serving God. i just finished reading the story of a man named Dietrich Bonhoeffer. he was a German theologian who strongly opposed Hitler's regime. he was executed for his role in an attempt to assassinate Hitler. Bonhoeffer had a unique relationship with God. he immersed himself in scripture and prayer, and you know what? he didn't "miss out" on anything by dedicating his life to serving God. he died at 39, which of course we consider young, but he firmly believed he led a complete and fulfilling life. he didn't want to live one more day than what God had designed for him.

you are probably thinking, "great, but what does this have to do with my marriage?" we are missing out in our marriages when we don't bring our spouse before the throne of God daily. we can live our lives in 100% commitment to Christ by reading his Word and meditating on it, and praying without ceasing. how would this alone transform our marriages?! i'm sure that some of you, like myself, have tried to change something about your husbands. does it ever work? :) we can't change them. but - GOD can. one thing i repeatedly am rebuked about, is letting God be the one to work in my spouse's life.

"Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse's hidden faults? Do you really think it's for endless nagging? No, it is for effective kneeling. No one knows better how to pray for your mate than you. . . A wife will accomplish more through strategic prayer than from all her persuasive efforts. It is also a much more pleasant way to live. So turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. . . Beyond this, begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs. Pray for his heart. . . Pray for truth to replace lies. Pray that forgiveness would replace bitterness. Pray for a genuine breakthrough in your marriage. And then pray for your heart's desires - for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level"(Love Dare, pp.77-78).

I especially need God's grace to transform me into a wife who prays instead of nags. The awesome thing is, I can succeed in this because of the finished work of our beloved Christ on the cross. praise God!!! pray that He will change us all.

Dare: "Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage."

Dare #15 - Love is honorable

what do you picture when you think of the word "honor"? i think of royalty or people in high positions for some reason. "honor" seems like a sacred word. a word that is saved for people who deserve it. if we were in the presence of the President (no matter what your political views may be), we would probably show him respect and honor in the way we behaved around him. we would try to sit up straight, look him in the eye and be respectful in our tone and in the words we choose. 

what if i took what i "see" when i think of the word honor, and put it into practice in my marriage? would the way i treat my husband change? i think so. now, i'm not saying when your spouse gets home, you should have his throne ready and a basin of water for him to stick his feet into. although i'm sure he wouldn't complain about that. :) think of your marriage as "set apart" or "holy." "To say that your mate should be 'holy' to you doesn't mean that he or she is perfect. Holiness means they are set apart for a higher purpose - no longer common or everyday, but special and unique. A person who has become holy to you has a place no one can rival in your heart. He or she is sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised, and defended" (Love Dare, pg. 72).

what are ways we can apply this to our marriages? how can we honor our spouses and keep our relationships holy?

Dare: "Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes."