the Bible constantly talks about the importance of the pursuit of wisdom. i read through Proverbs in the spring, and i was honestly very convicted about my lack of a desire to seek after wisdom as much as Proverbs encourages us to do! it's something that i have tried to remind myself of often. if i seek after wisdom, He promises to give it to me. imagine the wisdom i could attain if i would just ask fervently.
Proverbs 2:6-8 "For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding: He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints."
Proverbs 3:13 "How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding."
just as we are to seek after wisdom from God, we should seek to know our spouses. and i don't mean, his favorite color, his favorite book, or even his minor struggles. we should seek to really and truly know our spouses.
*Do you know his or her greatest hopes and dreams?
*Do you fully understand how they prefer to give and receive love?
*Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?
i'll be honest; when i read that list, i'm not sure i really know the full answers to all of those questions. and that's a shame. we are all different. and part of the reason we fight with the people we love is simply because we really don't understand them. we interpret their message differently then they are interpreting it, and then an argument occurs. i talk to my communication students about this all of the time. we could eliminate a lot of arguing by simply knowing our spouses better and more fully. i loved this section of the book, "there are still hidden things to discover about your spouse. And this understanding will help draw you closer together. It can even give you favor in the eyes of your mate. 'Good understanding produces favor' Proverbs 13:15" (pg. 87, Love Dare). there is still more to learn about my husband! in fact, we should dedicate our lives to seeking and knowing our spouses. we will never know them fully and completely. there will always be new things we will observe. make it your life goal to get to know your spouse better every day.
ok, this takes work! you may be thinking, i don't have time to dedicate to knowing my spouse like that. i have way too much going on - kids, work, etc. well, yah - it does take work. love doesn't always just come as a cozy feeling. it takes real, raw work. and when the feelings fade, because there will be days they will, seek to know your spouse even more; pray for wisdom in knowing them. we may be surprised by how quickly the "feelings" may return.
Dare: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the 2 of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus the time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you have rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate."
