guess what? we are not perfect. at least we say we believe that we aren't perfect. but, we sure do find it easy to find everyone else's imperfections. and you guessed it - the easiest person to tear apart can be our own spouses. when we make a mistake we say, "well, i'm not perfect! i'm never going to be!" when our spouse makes a mistake, it's more like, "why are you so insensitive? will you ever think about anyone besides yourself?" attack, attack, attack. well, you are right about one thing. your spouse isn't perfect, and he does have a lot of things he needs to work on, but so do we. YET, i know that there were a lot more good qualities about my husband that attracted me to him than bad ones. we forget so easily about those positive things sometimes, don't we?
"The Love Dare" states that there are two rooms in our hearts. the depreciation room and the appreciation room. in which room do we dwell? in the depreciation room, we absolutely tear our husbands to shreds. we sit in that room and camp out for hours. the book states, "Spending time in the depreciation room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room and violent plans are schemed. The more time you spend in this place, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moment you walk in the door, and your care for them lessens with every second that ticks by." This makes me so grateful that in our Savior's heart, there is no depreciation room. that just blows my mind. all of our imperfections have been covered by His blood! remind yourself of this incredible thought before you enter into the depreciation room in your heart.
Now, i understand that in some marriages, your spouse may very well have earned a trip into the depreciation room. a quote from "The Love Dare" discusses that:
"Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive."
This week, let's decide to camp out in the appreciation room. after all, that's how Christ thinks about at us!
"For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out the positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic."
No comments:
Post a Comment