"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16:32
so, i just have a few thoughts on this subject, and then i thought i would write an update on how the dares are going. if any of you are doing any of them, i would love to hear how God is using them in your lives!
it is SO easy to get irritated when things don't go our way. the "Love Dare" states, "To be irritable means 'to be near the point of a knife.'" that's just a second away from being stabbed with a knife! i think one of my issues with irritability is that i can be overly sensitive at times. i attack my husband for something he says when he didn't mean it the way i took it. sometimes, it's better to just ignore the little things (which can be extremely hard sometimes - i know). i need to start asking myself, "is this worth getting irritated over?" most of the time, i have a feeling the answer will be NO. it is much easier to be calm and loving this summer than it was last semester. stress can play a major role in irritability. do whatever you can to lessen the stress in your life. the book states, "Life is a marathon, not a sprint." we need to be balanced and organized, and do the best we can to lessen the stresses of life. after all, this life is only but a dot in the line of eternity. a motto at my church is "Live for the line, not for the dot." another cause of irritability is just plain selfishness, which as i have come to realize is a daily, daily battle. Matthew 12:34 says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." what are we filling our hearts with?
it really always goes back to love. i mean the kind of love we are learning about. 1 corinthians 13 kind of love. "Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge. To be grateful instead of greedy. To be content rather than rushing into more debt. . . In each decision, love ultimately lowers your stress and helps you release the venom that can build up inside" (Love Dare). And that venom can really build up, can't it? we can let something that irritates fester until it becomes a sore upon our hearts, and it pusses and bleeds whenever our mouths open. that's ugly, irritability.
something i have started to think about when i am irritated when my husband doesn't do something around the house that i want him to do: i think of picking up after him or cleaning for him as an act of service for him. if i'm irritated that he is walking around with shoes on in the house, i think "at least he is here to walk around with shoes on in the house. what would i do without the man who steps into those messy shoes?" :) when someone you love is almost taken away from you, it really changes the way you serve them.
Update: the dares are going well. i have fulfilled them all so far, slowly but surely. one thing however that i am working on (transparency moment) is to not idolize my husband or our marriage. ultimately, my satisfaction MUST come from Christ. the more i expect from my husband, the more he will actually let me down. if i am holding him to extreme standards, i am not viewing my marriage realistically. just in the last few days, i have started to work on this and there has already been drastic improvement in our relationship. i don't have to let EVERYTHING matter so much. we don't have to have the perfect relationship. we just need Christ. I just need Christ. He should be the one to fill any emptiness i may feel or experience. thanks be to God that we don't have to do it alone, huh? thanks be to God that He sent His Son to die for my sins. may we all take our sin seriously and continuously seek to rid our lives of its ugliness.
some lyrics to a song we sang at church on Sunday really gripped me:
"Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You!"
-All I Have Is Christ - Sovereign Grace
Let our boast be in Christ today and not in our relationships!
DARE: "Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life."
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